Oh, this weird autism world! When an autism parent first gets the diagnoses, it’s like you are sent to Mars. You don’t understand anything. You’re exhausted and overwhelmed. You trying to navigate this foreign terrain and also help your child.

But you start to learn. You find your tribe! And you luckily start to figure out where to find the answers you need. But you are forever changed, and “normal” life doesn’t really exist for you anymore.

Here’s the deal – we KNOW we’re weird. It’s the price we pay to help our kids, so we don’t care. But this life is a lot easier if you can laugh!

So, you might just be an autism mom if:

• You get jealous about things that other moms complain about – lying, college applications, too many activities, events, and parties.
• You laugh out loud at phrases like “get a babysitter,” “leisurely read,” and “sitting down.”
  

  And then they asked why we don’t just get a babysitter!

• You have your autism explanation/non-judgement speech memorized “He is {insert behavior here -having a meltdown, taking his shirt off, eating your food, running away, etc.} because he has autism and sensory issues … yada, yada, yada”).
• When you are talking to another autism mom, the topic of poop usually comes up at least once.
  

  And this was yesterday. Her poop looks better right?

• You speak in acronyms. You can read the following list without going, “OMG! WTF?”:
  ABA, OATS, NOREP, PANDAS, HBOT, LRE, SIBO, ATEC, IVIG, SLP, SNT, IACC, GFCFSF, CARS, BCBA
• You watch an episode of Orange Is The New Black and think that jail looks pretty relaxing. Nice break for a year …
  

  It’s so peaceful… (Photo Credit: “Female prisoner shackled in her small cell,” CC-BY-SA-4.0, by Officer Bimblebury, modified)

• You are completely broke, your furniture and appliance are 20 years old, your house is trashed – but you have forty thousand dollars of equipment in your basement like a hyperbaric oxygen chamber, specially-equipped therapy swing, and an infrared sauna.
• Your child says, “Screw You, Mom!” and you get super excited and tell all your friends. I mean, c’mon?! Complete thought! Sentence used appropriately! Best Day Ever!
  

  And then he told me to Shut The F@$# Up!

• You watch an episode of Shameless and think that considering the circumstances, they are managing pretty well (and their house doesn’t look that bad).
• A “little jaunt” (you’re already laughing) like going out to dinner, to the playground, or running an errand means that you need to pack: an allergy-friendly meal, iPad, earphones, a snack, drink, extra clothes, wet wipes, plastic bags, cup or water bottle, noise cancelling headphones, other electronic devices, games, portable power bank, charger, cooler, weighted blanket, the completely unnecessary thing your child can’t leave the house without, possibly a flask for you
  

  Okay, I think we’re all set to leave for the movies!

• You definitely owe your guardian angel a drink!
• You are a total rock star at not sweating the small stuff, appreciating every little achievement, and making the most of everything.

What did I miss? Please comment!