Sometimes It’s The Little Things: To Cure What Ails

My son Christopher, who has autism, is a lot like Alison’s daughter Leah. We haven’t had made a miraculous recovery (though others have) and we have yet to find our magic bullet that he instantly responds to. But we have had many, many little hard-won successes along the way. I am so happy she shared this story of her daughter’s progress. It may seem like a quirky, little thing. It may seem like a small step. But it is huge in the lives of kids with autism, and will probably make a big difference in Leah’s future. Every victory our kids have is a victory in autism. And though most of our kids don’t have a savant, Leah might just have some healing powers. You can read more about Alison, Leah, and life with autism at Real World Autism. 

An Unlikely Remedy

What do most of us want when we wake up feeling nauseous? A parent’s cool hand if we’re little. Enough peace and quiet that we can turn over, bury ourselves in covers, and wait for the end of the world. Or a nearby toilet bowl, if things get desperate.

If you live in our house, and you drag yourself downstairs to announce how lousy you feel, and then stumble into the hallway bathroom to be sick, you get the caring ministrations of your older sister with autism. Which in this case means you are tossing your cookies in the bathroom while your sister makes the following announcement outside the door:

“I’m gonna yodel at you, M Slice!”

And proceeds to do exactly that.

Longed-for Progress

I don’t know why or how Leah decided that yodeling was the answer to life’s ills. The first time she tried it out, her father was the sick one, and she told him she would yodel to help him feel better. It never occurred to either of us to tell her that the healing properties of yodeling are negligible at best. We were far more excited that she noticed her father wasn’t feeling well and was concerned enough to try to do something about it. We praised her, as we do all three of our daughters when they forget their teenage selves and show kindness toward someone else.

For Maddie, it might have been another sibling day-in-the-quirky-life, but for me, it represented longed-for progress. We got the result we hoped for: The likelihood that Leah will show concern for others’ distress has steadily increased since then. Yodeling is a secondary benefit.

Sisterhood

From their infancy, I worried that autism would make it near impossible for my twins to bond with their older sister. Early signs were not promising. Three-year-old Leah, a week away from her autism diagnosis, found the plastic pitcher and cups I brought home from the hospital more exciting than the pair of babies. Tensions worsened when they crawled, then cruised, then walked. She started to acknowledge her sisters by pushing them as hard and as far away from her as possible.

I was still an autism rookie. Many of the worries I’ve experienced since then had not yet occurred to me. One of the first fears to form was that Leah’s sisters would fear her, or simply dislike her. That was a more powerful motivator for me as I sought treatments for her than almost anything else. I knew she’d need her sisters one day, and I wanted their help to be given willingly, without resentment, which meant she needed to learn to like them a little.

Small Stepping Stones

I wish I could summarize Leah’s journey like this: “We went to an autism specialist, started dietary intervention and supplements, and it was like flipping a light switch.” It didn’t happen that way for us. Her trajectory has consisted of small gains interspersed with occasional setbacks. But over time, she has been able to show us that she soaks up our household like a sponge. ‘M Slice’ was not randomly chosen. It was a nickname my sister gave Maddie when she was about four.

The ‘wow’ moment would have been nice, but I’m grateful for the small moments too – those glimpses that Leah has been paying attention, and her increasing efforts to leave her world sometimes and engage with ours. The marathon journey can be as rewarding as the sprint, it turns out.

And Maddie recovered fairly quickly that morning. The role of yodeling has not been firmly established, and may warrant further study.

Alison is a social worker, recovering journalist, and an imperfect parent of three daughters. She blogs about her experiences at RealWorldAutism.com. She holds a BA in American Studies from the University of Notre Dame and bleeds blue and gold during football season. After time spent working at newspapers in Texas and Florida, she left journalism for social work, earning an MSW from Barry University in Miami Shores, Florida. She got some early social work experience at an outpatient addiction facility and a social service agency before moving to Maryland. In Maryland, in addition to accruing paid experience as a social worker in schools and in private practice, Alison accumulated thousands of hours of experience with advocacy, juggling professionals, understanding medical and educational jargon, and behavior management, along with a number of other skills that few parents imagine they’ll need when they rock babies to sleep. She has been a frequent flyer at support groups, first as an attendee and then as a coordinator, and has given professional development courses on autism.