The Heart of His Sister

Today is National Siblings Day. All siblings are special people, but the siblings of those affected by autism are pretty amazing. They are often given more responsibility and less attention than if they didn’t have autism in their lives, and so many times they rise to the challenge and become more compassionate, patient individuals as a result. Today’s guest post is written by Vanessa Surprise, whose son Cormac has autism, with the help of her daughters. Vanessa’s post is a powerful reminder to remember that autism siblings are going through a lot, and we often take their strength for granted. Here is an extra special thank you to those awesome autism siblings.

This past October my daughters Kaley and Hannah, who were  16 and 14 at the time, were asked to be part of a siblings panel at the Talk About Curing Autism (TACA) National Autism Conference. Like anyone would be, they were feeling nervous to sit in front of a crowd and answer questions about Autism, their brother and their lives in general. I made sure to be there and support them throughout. Lisa Ackerman, the founder of TACA, was moderating the panel and I knew she would be wonderful (and she was) and make them feel comfortable.

Sibling Love: Kaley, Cormac, and Hannah

During this panel something incredibly powerful happened. My eldest daughter Kaley was asked the question, “What is something really great about your brother?” She attempted to answer, but became completely overcome with emotion. Tears began streaming down her face. She later told me that this feeling just over took her whole body and all the feelings she had inside, all the pain she felt for her brother, released from her. She said that she had no idea how much she had been holding inside. She was always trying to stay strong for her parents, for her younger sister and especially for her brother. She is the oldest and works so hard and stays incredibly strong all the time. Her determination and heart make us remarkably proud of her each and every day.

Kaley helping her brother Cormac

Her tears caused a ripple effect throughout the room, and Kaley’s emotions were so strong that she was having a hard time getting herself together. Autism is really tough at times for families. The support of our community, family, friends and organizations like TACA help keep us #AutismTough. Thank God for Lisa and her daughter Lauren (who was also on the autism siblings panel), who were able to make her laugh and continue on with the discussion.

Kaley later explained to me how healing this experience had been for her. It made her realize the immense amount of love she has for her brother – a love that is different from the love she has for the rest of her family. She feels HIS emotions deep in her own heart. Siblings are incredible. Thank you Kaley, for your incredible heart – you and Hannah are amazing siblings to Cormac.

Vanessa Surprise has been a FedEx Courier for the past 15 years, and is the co-coordinator of the San Diego chapter of Talk About Curing Autism (TACA). She lives in Vista, California with her partner Doug McCarty and children Kaley, Hannah, and Cormac.