First off, I’m sorry that I’ve been MIA for a week or so. But, April really did me in and I needed a break.

Looking back, I realize that this is the time of year that I am usually the most stressed. April is not only Autism Awareness Month – which includes fundraising for our TACA Friends & Family campaign, helping to plan the TACA East Coast conference, and this year, featuring a whole bunch of awesome guest blogs on this site – but it is also my busiest time at my full-time job. And there is the usual every-month responsibilities like being a mom, cleaning and doing laundry (okay, that’s where I usually fall VERY short), self-care like yoga and meditation, paying the bills, etc. etc. etc. There really isn’t enough time in the day. And by the end of the month I’m usually hanging on by a thread.

We autism parents read lots of blog posts and articles about how we have to take care of ourselves first, and that if we aren’t good to ourselves we won’t be able to do any good for anyone else. We know it’s true. And we mean to get to it… when that next item gets checked off the never-ending list. Then we will eat right and do something relaxing and take a break…But, somehow this break gets pushed back just a little further. It’s too hard, or we don’t have any help, or it is really important that we get some stuff done. Believe me, I understand – my husband and I both work and don’t have anyone to babysit our kids or clean the house for us. It’s a constant struggle to get just the basics completed.

Last year, I learned the hard way just how badly I needed a break. April had just ended and I was preparing for the most important event that my department puts together at work. As in, this is not an event that it is possible to miss, since it’s the event where I’m kind of running a big part of the show. But my body decided otherwise. My appendix ruptured and to me there is no doubt that it was due to stress and exhaustion. I was having emergency surgery the day of the big event. {*warning – TMI ahead*} Aside from the mortifying realization that the surgeon, who was my dad’s age, had to shave my hoo-ha (just one more thing on that massive to-do list that I didn’t get to in time!) while I was under anesthesia to perform the surgery, it was seriously, literally, un-sarcastically the most relaxing time I had in 2015. How sad is that?

How is it possible to take a break when you have so much to do though? I’m not saying it’s easy.

When I was in high school, I was in an honors English class. I really wanted an A (which I think was a 96, and I remember that we didn’t have pluses or minuses). On my first paper I got a 92. We could rewrite them and the teacher would average the grades, so I tried and my rewrite grade was a 95, bringing my new grade to a 93.5 – still a B. So, I worked my ass off and rewrote it again and got a 97. Finally an A. But, my new average was a 94.7, which was still a B. And I had two more papers due in the meantime. So, I changed my strategy and decided that my new goal was the lowest B possible (which was like an 89, I think). Was my writing the best it could be? Of course not. But all of the sudden that class got a whole lot easier. I enjoyed my senior year a lot more. And I still got a B. And I still got into college and graduated and went on to lead this glamorous, exciting life you read about today.

So, am I saying that you should half-ass it and not do your best just to make your life easier? Maybe, sort of. Especially for that teacher who was just going to give you a B anyway. I’m not saying to go full-on Office Space and start gutting fish on your desk (though I’ve come close at times). I’m just saying to look for that area of your life that you are spending time on that doesn’t really really matter than much and let it go… at least for a bit. I promise you that (unless you are a surgeon) there is something that you can put off to give yourself a break without anyone dying on the table. So, listen to your body. Because if you don’t and you instead wait until your body insists, it might be more serious than your appendix.

So this year when the month left me spent, I tried to pay attention (at least a little) and I took a sick day. And even though the laundry and dishes are piling up and my to-do list continues to grow and the emails keep coming in, I did NOTHING. I don’t think I even could have done anything. I was so exhausted that I felt like Uma Thurman in Kill Bill, just laying there trying to will her toe to move. And we all need to do that every once in a while, until we are rested enough to get back to focusing on those ninja skills we need for our autism or other life battles.

Uma Thurman’s mad ninja skills in Kill Bill (Photo Credit: FanPop.com)