The Gift Of Saying YES: Inspiration For A New Year

The Gift Of Saying Yes - Holistically Whole

A Beautiful Message

Anyone else ready to kick 2018 to the curb? I’ve previously written about grief, having a tough year, and how so many people I love have been struggling. Among them is the family of Lena Tietjen, a beautiful, brave little girl who recently lost her battle with brain cancer.

Lena’s aunt, Lindsay McCarron, spoke at the funeral and her message has stuck with me. I’m always amazed by those who have the wisdom and grace to not only find a beautiful message in the midst of tragedy, but to also eloquently convey it. I am incredibly grateful to Lindsay and to the Tietjen family for allowing me to share her speech with you here. I’m certain that you will find it as moving and inspiring as I do.

Carry this message with you into the new year, and let it wash away the pain of the old.

Lena’s Gift

When looking through pictures over the past couple days, something became abundantly clear. We had printed so many more from 2017 and 2018 than from any other year. It wasn’t because Lena went through a not-so-cute phase, or we took less pictures. For the record, Lena has always been adorable and we took thousands of pictures. But I think those memories from the past year, even the unperfect pictures, are perfect.

You see, Lena gave us a gift. We knew her prognosis and we knew there was a chance that we would be here today. While we raced against that clock, and even saw miracles along the way, something changed on that day last November. Lena’s gift changed my life.

When someone is sick, we say yes.

We say yes to a last minute trip to Disney where everyone drops their life and goes to be together as a family, even PapPap who I am sure never expected to actually meet Mickey Mouse. You say yes to family dinner every time, even among kids’ activities and work and the fatigue of the day. You say yes to every outing, like going to see Frozen on Broadway on a workday because you know that may be your chance to see it together. You say yes to every trip to PJs, every opportunity to go to the Zoo, or Storybook Land, or the beach. You say yes to a memorable day with your sister that included ending up at the Rusty Nail after dark following what was intended to be a short trip to the zoo.

And when things get tough you continue to say yes. You say yes to going to the hospital, you say yes to the Dunkin Donut runs, and you say yes to being there when needed the most. And from saying yes, something beautiful happens.

Because saying yes is a gift.

Lena taught me to take the trip, picture, drive, phone call and time. I thought I valued these things before, but when I think about all my favorite memories of Lena, many are from after her diagnosis, so many because I said yes. Memories that would not exist had she not been sick, memories that brought us closer together as a family, and memories that I will cherish forever. The pictures represented here today with the memory boards happened because we said yes to togetherness.

But Lena’s gift wasn’t just for me. Lena caused so many people, people who do not and will not ever know her, to say yes as well. Yes to literally thousands of books for a girl who loved to read. Yes to supporting someone online knowing only their story. Yes to making meals for someone in your moms group or fundraiser or to supporting someone at work. Yes to donating a unicorn of a dress worth a lot of money so that a mother can have the right look to say goodbye. And yes to time off, from businesses and schools filled with people saying yes to support Lena and her family. Lena inspired so many yes’s in so very many ways. The impact of these small collective deeds will forever impact the way we view the world, there is so much goodness and kindness.

If there is something to take away from this nightmare, it is to continue to say yes in our lives. Say yes to friends and family and even strangers when they need us. Say yes to living in the moment, knowing that nothing is guaranteed. Say yes to the daytrip, dinner, visit, phone call, playtime, purple high heels, glitter nails or dance party. Lena would definitely want us to say yes to the dance party.

Even when Lena couldn’t share her words as swiftly as she once could, she always made sure to tell us all that she loved us, sometimes again and again with the same phrase, even when that voice was just a whisper. It was one of the very last things that left her before she left us. I think that is because love endure; love is what remains when we are gone.

Say yes, say I love you, and be present.

Thank you Lena for these gifts that I will carry with for always, just as you will always be a part of me.

Lena’s gift is for all of us. Though her time here was brief, she touched so many. And truly, none of us knows how much time we have left with those we love. As you consider resolutions for the new year, remember that time with those we love means so much more than a beach body or a promotion.