Like Rain On Your Wedding Day: It’s All About Perspective

Last week was my wedding anniversary – lucky 13! So, I thought I would share my wedding story and say Happy Anniversary to my wonderful husband. As usual, I’m a day (week) late and a dollar short – ha! Our wedding was full of insanity, which I guess is par for the course for us. It was also full of, as you can tell from the title, rain. But Dave and I are used to rolling with punches with the help of humor… and alcohol. Happy Anniversary baby!

I always wonder if everything else had gone smoothly, if I would have been bothered by the rain….

The Sanskrit expression “Mana eva manusyanam” translates to “As the mind, so the person.” This refers to how everything is relative and every experience is mental. If we think we are bound, we are bound. If we think we are free, we are free. We have all been upset over something small and then had something worse happen. The first problem doesn’t seem to matter anymore. But, it takes a larger problem to put this in perspective.

A Little Rain Falls…

About 9 months before my wedding, my then-fiancé was diagnosed with stage 3 melanoma. It was right in the middle of his back, and the surgeon needed to cut all the way down to the muscle to get all of the cancer out. If he missed any or didn’t go down far enough, the results could be deadly. The surgery went well, the lymph nodes were clear, but regular testing was required. Six weeks before the wedding, Dave’s blood test came back with irregularities. It might be nothing – sometimes surgery and the resulting trauma can make the blood get a little hinky. But it could also mean that the cancer had gotten into his blood. Meaning that he might only have a few years left to live. We would find out the additional results in 6 weeks.

Needless to say, the final weeks before the wedding were scary and stressful. I couldn’t imagine my life without Dave. I hoped and prayed that everything would turn out okay.

Then A Shower…

The day before the wedding, I was dropping off decorations at the reception location with my sister when I got a call from Dave. His mom was getting her nails and hair done at the salon.  The hairdresser was her sister B, which will come into the story later. Pay attention, because this gets kind of confusing. While her hair was being washed, she suffered a stroke. She was rushed to the hospital. The good news was that she was stable. But, Dave still didn’t know how she was doing or how she would be the next day.

Poor Dave tried to finish everything he still needed to get done for the big day, not even knowing if it was going to happen. We didn’t know what to do – cancel everything now? Possibly get married without his mom? She had threatened to not come to the wedding every time I did something she didn’t agree with (like food stations instead of a sit-down, and not putting tissue paper in the invitations). But I knew that in reality she wanted more than anything to be there.

And Then A Storm…

We got ready for the rehearsal in a state of shock. In the meantime, Dave’s cousin went to pick up her brother’s tux and was in a horrific car accident. She had broken all of her ribs, and we were all told that she was lucky to be alive.

And Then A Hurricane…Oh, C’mon Now!

So, Aunt B. (the hairdresser) went to visit her sister AND her daughter in the hospital. On the way there, she too was involved in a car accident and was also taken in an ambulance to the hospital. I know – this is crazy right? But I swear it’s true. I always joke that if our wedding story was a Lifetime movie that I would have turned the channel after the second car accident, thinking “Come ON, this would never really happen!”

Looking back, our rehearsal was kind of funny. We had a really large wedding party (10 bridesmaids, 11 groomsmen, 8 children in various roles) and SO many people were missing because they were either in the hospital or visiting all the people in the hospital. Uncles were filling in for flower girls, a random cousin pretended to be the mother of the groom. We told everyone at the rehearsal dinner that things were sort of up-in-the-air, and that the best thing everyone could do was to drink up! At 4AM I sat with my girlfriend at the bar wondering if I would be getting married later that day. Admittedly, this probably wasn’t the best decision.

The Big Day Arrives…

I woke in the morning, still a little drunk, to the sound of pouring rain. I went to the salon and had mimosas with my bridesmaids (I think my mom had no idea what to do with me) and got my hair done. While I was in the hair chair, Dave’s brother called. Their mom had (against doctor’s wishes) checked herself out of the hospital and would be at the wedding. His cousin and Aunt B. would be there too. Huge relief! Everyone was okay and the wedding was on!

The Best News…

When we got back the hotel, the groomsmen were all having lunch and started freaking out when they saw me, rushing to make sure that Dave wouldn’t see me before the ceremony. His brother came over to tell us that the doctor had called while they were eating to let him know that his blood tests were clear. He personally called on a Saturday to let him know. He said to have a great wedding, honeymoon, and life.

The rest of the day was a whirlwind. The next 14 or so hours were a blur. It had been raining on and off all day. We were having our group wedding pictures between the ceremony and the reception on the steps of the Philadelphia Art Museum when the sky got very very dark. In a matter of seconds it was a complete downpour. I SO wish someone had a picture of the scene that ensued next – 25 very well dressed people (me in 4 inch heels) racing down the steps of the art museum in the pouring rain. It must have looked hilarious.

13 Years Later…

Looking back on the craziness of the day and the craziness that has since ensued in our lives, Dave and I joke that maybe we should have taken these signs a little more seriously. But in reality we know that it was just proof that rain or shine, we’re in this together. And together we are strong enough to get through whatever life throws at us. And who’s afraid of a little water anyway?

It rained on my wedding day – and it was the best day ever.