Happy Mother’s Day, Just A Mom

Happy Mother’s Day! This day was created to honor the importance of being a mom – of giving life to and nurturing another human being. So, let’s take a moment to do just that. Let’s stop the “just a mom” dismissing. It is being acknowledged that moms work really hard, and that “just a mom” is a pretty tough job. But, mom’s voice is still continuously dismissed as inferior to that of so-called “experts.”

Disagree with a medical diagnosis? What do you know? You’re just a mom. Question an educational placement? Doesn’t matter – you’re just a mom. Want to weigh in on decisions concerning the health and safety of your child? Just a mom! Don’t you want to scream?!

Moms are constantly judged and given advice on everything from diet to discipline from those who think they know better. Autism moms and other special needs moms, like me, have it even tougher; one of the many reasons being that our kids are often ignored, their futures written off.  It’s hard to tune those voices out, to not doubt yourself, and to not second-guess your parenting decisions. But YOU are the real expert.

Mother’s Intuition is a real thing. Our natural instincts are there for a reason. And I don’t care how brilliant, caring, or well-meaning any professional is. S/he does not know your child better or care about your child more than you do. No one does. So, as moms, it’s time we start listening to that little voice and trusting our gut instincts. Mother DOES know best!

Professionals may have knowledge, education, and experience; but they do not have crystal balls. They cannot predict with certainty how your child’s future is going to turn out. And your realizing that can make all the difference.

Here are three stories of moms who made an amazing difference to their children. You’ve probably heard them, but even so, you might need a reminder.

Wilma Rudolph

You’ve probably heard the story of wold-record-holding Olympic runner Wilma Rudolph. Winning three gold medals in the 1960 summer Olympics is just one (well, three) of her many accomplishments.  In the 1960s she became an inspiration for women and black athletes.

Wilma was born prematurely and suffered many childhood illnesses, including scarlet fever, pneumonia, and polio. She recovered but the polio left her partially paralyzed and she wore leg braces until she was eight years old. Her mother was determined to get the best medical care for Wilma. So for years she home schooled her daughter and took her for weekly treatments fifty miles away to help her regain the strength of her leg. Wilma Rudolph is quoted as saying, “My doctors told me I would never walk again. My mother told me I would. I believed my mother.”

Thomas Edison

Thomas Edison is known as the greatest inventor of our time. But he only spent a few months in school. He was considered disruptive and unable to be educated. There is some dispute as to whether Thomas was expelled from school or if his mother removed him, but either way he was educated entirely by his mother. She believed in him when no one else did.

Thomas Edison has said that his mother “was the making of me… [because] she was always so true and so sure of me… And always made me feel I had someone to live for and must not disappoint.”

As we know, he went on to become a brilliant inventor and scientist. He holds the record for his number of patents, and is known for inventing the phonograph, the light bulb, and one of the first moving picture cameras.

Ding Zheng

This story is recent and the child is not famous (yet), so you might not have heard it. When Zou Hongyan’s son Ding Ding was born with severe cerebral palsy, she was encouraged to give him up. The prognosis was dire – she was told he would never be intelligent and would always be severely disabled and was “not worth saving.”

But Zou insisted on keeping Ding. Her husband agreed with the doctors and left the family shortly after Ding’s birth. Zou raised him by herself, working multiple jobs and never giving up on Ding. She took him to therapies every day and became a masseuse so that she could help him herself. She played games with him all the time, and insisted on raising him in an optimistic environment. Ding learned and developed slowly, but still made amazing progress. He even learned to use chop sticks!

In 2011 he graduated from Peking University’s school of engineering and is currently studying at Harvard Law School. Ding credits his mother, who, he says, never stopped encouraging him to try.

So “just a mom,” your belief in your child really matters! And it can move mountains!

Of course I can’t say that your child is going to be the world’s next great inventor or an Olympic gold medal winner or go to Harvard. I can’t promise that your child will defy odds or predictions. But I can say almost with certainty that if you give up on your child (and on yourself as a mother) that any dire prediction will most certainly come true.

So why not choose hope? Why not tell the “experts” to shove it? Your child doesn’t need statistics and PhDs – your child needs “just a mom.”

Moms – I truly hope that you can take a break this day to relax and  be pampered. (I wish this for all of you, but especially the special needs moms.) I realize that might be wishful thinking (or that you might just get double the work tomorrow). Whenever you have to get back to it all, I hope that this post inspires you to do so with confidence in yourself and hope for your child.

Happy Mother’s Day!
XO, Just A Mom